SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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