google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
