I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
