Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
