There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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