I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
