At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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