i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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