Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
