Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
