i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize