Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
