I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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