The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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