I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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