I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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