Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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