I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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