Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
