It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
