While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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