there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
