You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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