Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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