it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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