Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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