DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
