Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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