i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I AM VODKA MAN
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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