Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
