brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize