Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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