Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize