Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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