were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
