Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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