my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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