Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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