my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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