I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
