we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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