I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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