dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
