I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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