Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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