nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
