I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I could make wine with my vomit
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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