Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
