Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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