After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
