I'm jealous of your bromance
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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