Me too!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
