just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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