Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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