I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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