used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
