I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
