Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
