I hate your face
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
