It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
