Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
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