Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
