I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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