The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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