He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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