I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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