I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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